When I started writing this post, I searched my computer for those spectacular moments in photos, that perfect father/daughter memory that I could share with you. To my broken hearted surprise, I didn’t have a single photo on my computer of the both of us (and I am traveling abroad so all my hard copy photos are 4,000 miles away). A few tears streamed down my face, regret, then feeling like I was a terrible daughter..
Isn’t it funny how guilt sneaks up on us like that?
I was already feeling emotional from my earlier visit to Walmart, passing the Father’s Day card section and the solemn reminder that my dad is no longer with us. It’s been ten years but it still feels like yesterday that he left this earth. I miss him so much!
In a desperate attempt to find some photos, I reached out to my sister-in-law who lives in Dad’s old house (hoping she could find something – anything!). She didn’t find anything with me, but she did find some photo that made me smile – and cry again 🙂
So instead of starting this story out with words, I want to share a little about my dad through photos…..
Daddy, I miss you.
I think I would give my left arm to hear your laugh one more time, to tell you I love you one more time.
So many things remind me of you – random little things.
When I see a crow. I remember the time you brought home a box of baby crows because you had just chopped down a tree and their mama flew away. They were so little and cute. When ever a crow crosses my path it takes me back to that day, that cardboard box full of baby birds. I always stop and think how excited we were when you got home.
When I see wild rabbits running through the neighborhood, I remember the day you brought home that cute bunny we named “Cinnamon”. You said the pet store was going to feed her to a snake and you were saving her. How many bunnies did you end up bringing home that summer? ……. So many that we had to donate them to the Knott’s Berry Farm Zoo.
When I look at my neighbor’s fruit trees I think of all the trees you had. The lemon tree, olive tree, and apple tree. I still eat raw lemons (but they are never as sweet as the ones you grew) and I still love apple butter that mom used to make from the bags and bags of apples you would harvested.
When I see a pruned tree that looks like a tiny little stump sticking out of the ground, I chuckle and think of you. I always wondered why you cut SO much off the trees but they always grew back so beautiful.
I imagine heaven has rows and rows of beautifully groomed trees, overflowing gardens of fresh fruits and vegetables, hundreds of bunnies bouncing around on open grassy fields. You’re one of the angels keeping heaven beautiful.
Daddy, you took up a space in my heart that no one could ever fill. It has your memories, your laughter, your smile. It’s the place where I can go and be a little girl again, feeling safe, feeling loved, feeling like God gave me the most special man in the world.
I imagine the day we will get to meet again in heaven and how I will HUG you so tight.
I miss you ❤
Thank you Kayla!! For the terrific memories and photos you shared with me!!